The author (right) and her grandmother. Courtesy of the author 2025-05-24T17:29:01Z Save Saved Read in app This story is available exclusively to Business Insider subscribers. Become an Insider and start reading now. Have an account? In 2002, I moved in with my grandmother while going to college. She was 81 and I was 19, and it was the perfect setup for both of us. We loved having each other to have dinner with and chat with at the end of the day. When I told my parents that I had been accepted to Bath University in the UK, they quickly said there was no way I was going.Their logic was simple: They knew I was chasing after a high school boyfriend who wasn't right for me and that I wouldn't love living in Bath by myself.Knowing I needed a little freedom from living in São Paulo, they suggested I move to Argentina, where I'm originally from, for college. After that, I could decide what to do next. There was only one caveat — I had to live with my 81-year-old grandmother. They didn't think I was ready to live by myself in a big city, and I also had no way of paying for rent. I was already close to my grandmotherMy maternal grandmother and I were already pretty close. My grandfather died months after I was born (my family says he waited to meet me), and so my grandmother dedicated her time to helping my parents raise me. The author as a child with her grandmother. Courtesy of the author She would stay at our apartment when my parents had to travel for work, teaching me how to walk and talk. When my dad was moved to a different country for his job, she came for a year to help us settle in.I moved in when I was 19 and she was 81My grandmother lived in a two-bedroom apartment when I moved in with her. Besides a computer and a desk, I only had to bring my clothes. I paid her for my parking spot in the building and helped keep the place tidy.Because we were so close and had lived together before, there wasn't much adjusting for us to do. The one issue we had was with me going out at night; she couldn't understand how I could be out until the early hours of the morning and still make it to class on time.But the setup was beneficial for both of us. Even though I was born in Argentina, I hadn't lived there for over a decade. Having a safe place to land helped me focus on studying and making friends.When I came home, my grandmother had dinner ready, and we would spend time catching up and talking. When she needed to go to the doctor, I would go with her to ensure she understood everything they were telling her.People in my life thought it was weird at firstAt first, not everyone understood my decision. My uncle told my mother that it wasn't "natural" for a teenager to live with their grandparents. My friends, who still mostly lived with their parents, also thought it was a bit weird. As the years went by, people in my life started to see how beneficial it was for both of us.One time, my grandmother confused her pills and took the wrong amount of her blood pressure medication. She called for me, dizzy, saying something was wrong. I rushed her to the hospital, where we were told it was just a scare and that her symptoms would subside once the medicine left her system. When my college boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue, she held me while I sobbed into her shoulder. She scratched my back until I fell asleep, just like she did when I was a little girl.I moved out after collegeAfter graduation, I moved out to live by myself, not far from her. I still took her to lunch with our family and made sure to be as present as I could be in her life. Years later, I moved to the US but still called her weekly to chat.My grandmother died when she was 97, seven years ago. I knew it was coming, so I flew from New York to say goodbye in person and thank her for everything she did for me.My grandmother's love and care in such formative years, when I was trying to figure out who I was, had a huge impact on my life. If I were given the choice, I would move in with her again.

Looking back, there are a few mistakes I made while traveling internationally with my grandma. Emily Schlorf 2025-05-13T14:12:01Z Save Saved Read in app This story is available exclusively to Business Insider subscribers. Become an Insider and start reading now. Have an account? In summer 2024, I traveled with my grandma, mom, and sister to Montreal. I wish I'd thought more about my grandma's physical needs when planning the itinerary. It would've been nice to have more downtime in our schedule, too. Despite living 1,800 miles apart, my 81-year-old grandma and I have always been close. We share a love for "Downton Abbey," cross-stitch, and strong coffee, and I couldn't imagine spending weeks in the summer anywhere but her sunny kitchen table in central Minnesota.Of course, I'd be naive to assume my time with her is unlimited. That's one reason my grandma, mom, sister, and I decided to embark on a trip to Montreal together last summer.Although I'm grateful we were able to take this trip, it could have gone a lot smoother had I known these three things about traveling with an older relative. The itinerary should have reflected everyone's physical needs, not just my own I should've considered how long it would take my grandma to get to excursions like our afternoon tea. Emily Schlorf I'm the most frequent traveler in my family, so I took on all the planning myself and approached the task the same way I do for solo travel: leaving no stone unturned.I thought my grandma would be well-prepared for the long days, given that she walks 3 miles a day and eats a far more balanced diet than I do.What I failed to consider, though, was how difficult it would be for her to walk on the uneven cobblestone streets. On our first day in the city, we nearly missed an afternoon tea reservation since I didn't factor in the slower pace we'd have to take to accommodate my grandma's careful steps.I also didn't realize just how exhausting a full-day Three Pines tour would be. Although fantastic — with stops at a monastery, local museum, and five-star resort for lunch — our visit to the villages that inspired the fictional location of my grandma's favorite mystery series was nine hours long. My family and I went on a nine-hour tour of Three Pines. Emily Schlorf As the day progressed, we took turns snoozing in the back seat of our tour guide's van. Upon arriving back at the bed and breakfast, my grandma exclaimed how long of a day it was; and I didn't disagree.Similarly, I didn't consider my grandma's physical limitations when choosing restaurants. Although they weren't lacking in ambiance — picture patios swallowed in bougainvillea and cool, brutalist interiors overlooking Lake Saint Louis — the dim lighting and small font sizes made it challenging for her to read the menu.My mom, sister, and I mitigated my grandma's vision issues by taking turns reading the menu aloud, line by line, but that got old fast.In retrospect, I wish I'd shown up equipped with solutions, such as finding the menu online so she could zoom in on my phone or reminding her to bring her readers, to improve everyone's dining experience. A long trip means extended time away from routinesEveryone gets to a point on vacation when they're ready to return home, but I would argue that the feeling is stronger for older adults like my grandma, who travel once or twice a year and may be used to a strict daily routine.Although my grandma never expressed this feeling to me outright, I noticed as the days went on, she became less game for her granddaughters' plans.For example, on our last evening, my sister and I wanted to check out the shops lining Saint-Laurent Boulevard, but my grandma preferred to have takeout in the hotel.We compromised, and my sister and I walked to the boulevard to pick up dinner, but we ditched our shopping plan since we felt bad keeping my mom and grandma waiting.I wish we'd had more downtime together One of my favorite memories from the trip was when we spontaneously visited a speakeasy. Emily Schlorf Instead of jam-packing every day with new experiences, I wish I'd taken my foot off the gas as the trip progressed — for my grandma's sake as well as my own.As we reached days five and six of the trip, my excitement for the activities I planned dwindled, and I found myself wishing I hadn't planned them at all.Besides, the memories I cherish most from the trip weren't the museums or guided tours, they were the unplanned ones: a shared bottle of wine with our bed and breakfast hosts, a visit to an outdoor antique market, and a nightcap at a speakeasy.Despite the challenges, I'd love to travel with my grandma again I would love to go on another trip with my grandma. Emily Schlorf To anyone contemplating a multigenerational trip, I say do it, but be more considerate than I was. Take time to plan the trip together, think of everyone's needs, and be content with slowing down.Strolling through the city hand-in-hand with my grandma, I learned that it's OK to leave some stones unturned, because the real joy comes from who you're turning them with. Recommended video