Twenty-two hours into tropical paradise, the money nerds started getting emotional.In November, four dozen Americans and Australians converged in the spiritual heart of Bali, Indonesia, at a luxury resort filled with banana trees and the sounds of passing sheep. The crew was united by their commitment to the Financial Independence, Retire Early movement.FIRE's promise: Embark on a super-saving path to ditch corporate drudgery ahead of schedule and retire on your terms.On the first day of the retreat, we sipped on coconut water and focused on introductions. Attendees at the five-day, $1,800 retreat came largely from Big Tech, finance, and small businesses, a mix of five- and six-figure paychecks. At 22, I was the youngest person in attendance by far. The other participants ranged from 35 to nearly 60 and included both those on the path to early retirement and those who had left their jobs years ago.On the second day, people started opening up about what brought them to the island. This retreat came, like any financial product, with caveats and nondisclosures. During small-group sessions, we were instructed not to interrupt or ask follow-up questions. I agreed not to write details that might identify specific people. Outside our daily meeting room, jungle flora and koi reminded us we were far from home. Shubhangi Goel/Business Insider Inside a bamboo-paneled room with the AC blasting, wooden chairs were arranged in circles of four, so close that our knees almost touched. The organizer, a retired teacher from Texas who moved to Bali, talked about mending her relationship with an estranged parent.Then the first member of our four-member group was up.SheThe next man kept the emotional momentum going by talking about his loneliness. The third member of our quartet confessed how his obligations to his parents sometimes felt like a burden. I had rarely seen men cry, but here two did so one after the other. Last up, I thought about what troubled me, a 22-year-old with a dream job, a happy family, and good friends. I told them I was anxious that my sister's going overseas to college next year could pull us apart. I had never said that out loud.Throughout that half hour, people sobbed, patted each other's shoulders, and, like me, struggled to show their solidarity without words.The confessional set the stage for nearly a week of conversations about stocks and Excel models,After six months of writing about FIRE, I knew isolation to be one of the common downsides of retiring early. When all of your friends have a 9-to-5, nobody's around for lunch on a Tuesday.At this retreat, I saw how deeply those feelings cut through a global community that often doesn't feel like a community at all. FIRE adherents need more than a lunch buddy they're yearning for friends who won't shoot down their seemingly far-fetched plans, like retiring at 35."Any time I bring up net worth, my friends think I'm bragging," a five-figure employee with a job she hates told me over dinner. "Here I have people who are so much further than me in their journeys that I can talk about money openly." The retreat's organizer, Amy Minkley (right) retired at 44 and lives in Bali. I Putu Abel Pody Amy Minkley, the organizer who lives in Bali, said she came to appreciate the value of live, long events not just a monthly happy hour or Zoom hang in 2021 after attending her first retreat. Minkley had grappled with money issues since her parents' divorce during her childhood. She took on two jobs as a teenager to help her struggling mother."I felt like I met my tribe," she said about attending her first event. "I was so moved by the people that stayed up late with me and really counseled me through some big money scarcity issues."Over the next few years, advice from new friends she made at these Bali retreats helped her sort her aging parents' long-term care."People don't often get that vulnerable until they've been around each other for multiple days," said Minkley, who retired at 44. "There's just something so valuable to be able to have conversations about money in real life."Escaping judgmentMany outsiders associate the FIRE movement with fun-eschewing cheapskates.Early evangelists, like the blogger Mr. Money Mustache, preached about living a bare-bones life to save as much as possible, then quitting your job the second you hit a certain threshold."There's been a lot of judgment over the years," a woman who started her path to FIRE in 2017 told me. "There's a lot of people that think that it doesn't work."One American said she stopped talking about personal finance with her friends. They told her that they thought the FIRE community was a cult and that she was depriving herself."They just don't have the discipline to save and invest, so they think retiring early is impossible," the woman said."I still go out, I still travel, hell I even still drink Starbucks occasionally," she said. "It's hard to convince people that it's not about deprivation it's about deciding what you value and spending on those things."Over dinner with a Balinese fire dance and spicy Thai food, two women both serial Financial Independence retreat attendees told me their loved ones associated retiring early with laziness or lack of ambition. The retreat brought corporate quitters from four continents together. I Putu Abel Pody Others said they needed someone outside their regular circle to give them permission to take the big step, whether it be to retire, to quit, or to actually spend money. A small-business owner told me she made two of the biggest decisions in her life to start a business and to get a divorce at similar events. She credits the phone-light, nature-heavy long weekends centered on Financial Independence, or FI, that feel more like adult summer camp than a financial workshop.One woman in her 50s, who suffered from what's known in FIRE-land as "I'll resign next year" syndrome, asked a trusted person at this year's retreat to run through her finances to see whether she could retire. Back home in New York, a financial advisor had quoted her nearly $3,000 to do the same."This community is worth every penny," she said after a loud, late-night game of spoons.FI influencers and Gen Xers who had retired years ago led breakout sessions with catchy names like "Financial Independence Next Endeavor" to talk about how to retire meaningfully.The early retirees recommended creating a bank account to spend solely on experiences with friends and family. The session leader told us one of the best trips he had ever taken was last year's $20,000, 11-day cruise from Greece to Italy, with his mom and his adult daughter. His "fun bucket" helped him ditch the frugality mindset.In an exercise about how to introduce yourself without mentioning work, a "FI-curious" couple with adult children struggled to talk about themselves. They had prioritized building their business for the past several years. They didn't know who they were without work or where they would go if they decided to retire early.'Accountability buddies'On the last day, our 50-person group sat in a circle sporting a mix of loose tank tops and uneven tans. We shared one thing we promised to do to improve our lives after getting home. To keep on track, we were directed to find "accountability buddies."One woman promised to talk to her FIRE-wary partner about her desire to move abroad. A business owner broke down and confessed that her work felt like a prison so she would consider hiring help. A couple with young kids said they would prioritize their sidelined marriage though the two finance whizzes had recently hit nearly $2 million in net worth, they had never considered shelling out for household help or a full-time nanny."It's a cautionary tale," the husband said. "When the kids grow up and they leave, you look at each other and you realize you're two different people."One man, whom I had always seen laughing and surrounded by others, teared up, saying he was going to try to forge more meaningful friendships. Accountability buddies actually kept in touch. I Putu Abel Pody When I checked in with some attendees in the weeks after the retreat, they told me their accountability buddies had stayed in touch. Some, like the couple with young kids, were following through on their improvement pledge the duo had hired someone for household tasks and were trying to find an au pair.On the eve of my 23rd birthday, I'm not gunning to retire by 30. Whether I have two or four decades of work ahead of me, the long weekend of drinking the coconut water made me want to invest in meaningful connections, not just my brokerage account.I'll have my 30s and 40s to grow my career and net worth. But I need to enjoy friends and family now, while everyone is still fit and healthy. In the past three months, I have said yes to more activities and taken the initiative to plan others a new tactic, because I often waited for loved ones to show they cared by asking me first.And while I love my job as a journalist, I'm thinking more about who I am beyond it. As a kid, I dreamed of the hobbies I could pursue when I had my own time and money, untethered from school obligations. Now, I have no more excuses and my accountability buddy is waiting.