After medical leave seven years ago, I didn't return to my full-time job.However, I've written a memoir and write freelance work, so I'm not fully retired.I consider myself "fluidly retired" for now.When I was a young professional, I never planned to retire. My career as a health education specialist fulfilled me in a way that being a wife and mother could not. In my early 50s, though, that 5 a.m. alarm became more and more intrusive, and I accepted that someday I'd want to call it quits. Maybe at 66 years and 8 months, when I would reach full retirement age as defined by social security. Or maybe I'd push it to 70.My body had other ideas.After paid medical leave, I never went back to work full-timeAt 58, I'd been working in the worksite wellness space for six years, finally making a decent salary. But after decades of IBS and three years of worsening GI problems, my gut was a mess.Then, my colorectal surgeon found a new complication. It wasn't immediately serious, but if I had any chance of recovery, I'd need to leave my job and focus on my health. As I left the appointment that day, I put on sunglasses to hide my tears.I took a paid medical leave from my job, never intending to abandon my career. "As soon as I'm better," I told myself, "I'll come back at the top of my game."While at home, I spent most of my time running to the bathroom or curled up on the couch with a heating pad. Traditional medicine, alternative treatments, and minor surgery didn't improve my condition. Regardless, my benefits ran out two years later. (Thankfully, my husband's salary supported us both.)On good days, I worked on a memoir about motherhood and people-pleasing I'd begun years before, but I knew I couldn't meet the commitments of a full-time or even part-time position.Was I retired? If asked, I answered no. I didn't have an aversion to the idea or think retirement was an ageist concept, but the term simply didn't fit.Four years later, I'm now 66 and 3 months, a published author, engaged in freelance writing when inspiration hits me. My GI issues are better, but not great.Am I retired now?I haven't stopped working completelyI still don't know how to answer that question. I applied for "retired" status from my professional credentialing association, but what was my retirement date? September 2016, when my medical leave began? October 2018, when it ended? June 2024, when I began drawing my barely-enough-for-groceries state retirement?On medical and insurance forms, I check "retired" for lack of a better answer, but I worry my doctors will treat me differently as a result. On LinkedIn, I'm "self-employed," and on my taxes, I'm a "freelance writer," although if income defines success in either role, I'm a failure.I have lots of company in my confusion: senior workers who never formally retired yet aren't working full-time, employees over 60 who were downsized or laid off, and freelancers who slowly pared down their commitments. Many of these individuals didn't choose to end their careers, and few received a plaque or party before they walked out the door or ended the final Zoom call.In five months, I'll be eligible for Social Security. Will I finally be retired then? I'll decide when that day arrives. I've concluded that, regardless of age, you're retired if you think you are.I miss a steady paycheck, but I love the freedom to spend my time as I wish. If I'm not writing, I'm sewing, gardening, or enjoying unfettered time with my husband. Maybe I'll write another book. Maybe I won't.Now, if I'm asked about my retirement status, I say, "I'm "fluidly retired." That phrase won't appear on a form with a box to check, but working outside the box is often where contentment lies.