If I ever need a reminder that Im not a natural extrovert, I need only to look at the journal I kept during the early days of my improv classes. I am having incredible dread about improv tomorrow, I wrote one day. I would literally pay any amount to get out of this class, I moaned on another. You cant be bad at improv, but I feel like I am bad at improv, I wrote after a class during which I gave up in the middle of a game called Big Booty and said simply, I cant take this anymore.I had enrolled in improv because I was trying to become more extroverted, as part of a sweeping personality-change project that I document in my new book, Me, But Better. Extroversion is one of the big five personality traits that scientists say make up a persons disposition, along with openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Extroversion is associated with socializing and cheerfulness, and as a hardened introvert, I knew I needed a mechanism to force me out of my house and into gregariousness. Improv seemed like the full-immersion extrovert experience. These perks of extroversion would only reveal themselves to me in time, after many, many hours of playing Zip Zap Zop against my will.But it wasnt going well, and at times, I thought about dropping the class or giving up altogether. Even after I got better at improv, I still felt nervous before every class. And the other activities I was doing to boost my extroversion like going on long hikes with strangers were only mildly pleasant, at best. I had this notion that, since I was an introvert, I should avoid difficult social situations like, well, improv class. Im glad I didnt give up, though. It turns out that behaving in an extroverted way can have surprising benefits, even if youre an introvert. And these perks of extroversion would only reveal themselves to me in time, after many, many hours of playing Zip Zap Zop against my will.What spurts of extroversion can do for introverts Compared to introverts, extroverts are happier, research unfortunately shows. An exhaustingly chirpy series of studies has found that social connection is one of the strongest predictors of well-being, and extroverts are more socially connected. In lab experiments, extroverts tend to interpret ambiguous stimuli more positively, hearing the word won rather than one, for example, or writing more uplifting short stories based on generic prompts. People who are extroverted as teenagers remain happier even when theyre 60.I understand that introverts might not be thrilled to hear this I wasnt, either. But Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist who has studied this phenomenon, says its worth focusing less on the extrovert part of this and more on the fact that these individuals are more enmeshed in community. Connection is really the key to happiness, Lyubomirsky told me. And there are ways to square your natural introversion with the universal human need for connection. You dont have to mingle with everyone at the office party, for instance. You can just call a trusted friend for a one-on-one conversation. Even hanging out with others and listening more than you talk can be a form of extroversion, Lyubomirsky says. One surprising thingIntroverts may believe that behaving like extroverts means going against their nature but this doesnt bother us as much as we might think. In one study, introverts even reported feeling truer to themselves when they were behaving like extroverts.While its true that extroverts enjoy talking, people, and attention, they also enjoy activity, period. Therefore, to boost your own levels of extroversion, you can just sign up for an activity in addition to improv, I tried sailing and commit to going, even if you dont plan to talk much.Though theres nothing wrong with being an introvert, several studies have shown that when introverts occasionally behave in extroverted ways, they experience more positive affect science-speak for good feelings. I started doing these studies because I didnt believe them, says John Zelenski, a psychology professor at Carleton University who has replicated this finding, and who himself is introverted. But it absolutely seems correct that if you get people to act extroverted and usually, that means socializing for a few minutes theres a big mood boost there.The reason for this twist is that behaving against our natures doesnt bother us as much as we fear it might. In one study, introverts even reported feeling truer to themselves when they were behaving like extroverts. Thats because, much as we might prize authenticity, we have other desires, too. We want to handle difficult situations appropriately, feel embraced by others, and accomplish our goals and most of us also want to feel happier and more connected. Sometimes, achieving those things means going against our natural personality traits. Lots of things that we may not initially like doing actually really benefit us, says Lyubomirsky, who, as an example, offered that she now loves running but took a while to get into it. A lot of things in life dont feel natural at first. Just because it doesnt feel comfortable and natural doesnt mean its not authentic. Authenticity can come from familiarity, and the only way to build familiarity is through experience.A desire to remain authentic is one reason people may balk at the idea of changing themselves either through personality change or otherwise. But living authentically can also mean acting in ways that feel, at first, uncomfortable, as long as those actions draw you closer to your values and goals. Many of us, if we followed the North Star of authenticity, would quit our jobs, neglect our families, and watch Love Is Blind all day. But what is instinctive is not always best.RelatedWant a better social life? Try these easy habits.This doesnt mean behaving like an extrovert constantly, just occasionally. I told Zelenski about a time I had to collect man on the street interviews as a reporter a horrible task that involves approaching random strangers and lobbing questions at them in an attempt to find a pattern of responses for your story. One freezing cold night in New Jersey, I didnt conceal my misery well enough. As I mangled my words and rubbed my hands together, one woman looked at me with pity and said, Dont worry, youre almost done. After a while, it does get old, Zelenski acknowledged. How to coax out your inner extrovert To figure out how to get better at these forays into extroversion, I called up Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex in the UK. More importantly for my purposes, she talks to strangers on the street, on vacation, even in the sacred space of the London Tube. She researches the power of weak ties, casual acquaintances with whom we interact, but usually only briefly. People who have lots of weak ties, who make eye contact and idle chitchat with baristas and neighbors, feel happier than those who dont, her studies find.Initially, her research felt alien to me. I had stopped working in an office when the pandemic started, and I didnt miss it at all. I live in the suburbs, so I dont interact with many people unless I make a point to and I usually dont. Sandstrom told me shes the same way: Shes an introvert and tends to avoid demanding social situations. But she uses talking to strangers as a coping mechanism of sorts. If shes in a big, crowded room, she finds someone whos off by themselves and starts a one-on-one conversation. One way to open such a conversation is by making a statement, rather than asking a question. For instance, when Sandstrom is on public transportation, shell test the waters by complimenting the person sitting next to her. (She recommends remarking on something other than their looks.) Or, shell comment on something in the environment if they have a suitcase, shell ask where theyre going. One time, she was walking in a park and noticed a man smiling at some ducks. Arent they cute? Sandstrom said. She and the man ended up chatting for half an hour, since they were walking in the same direction. At the end of her conversations, Sandstrom just says something like, Thank you, its been nice talking to you, and walks off.Just like a mediocre movie wouldnt make you swear off cinema forever, one bad conversation shouldnt keep you from trying again.I told Sandstrom that I dont miss my weak ties much, and Im not really one for small talk. We either have to get to the bottom of your childhood trauma, or were not talking at all. The thing is, she pointed out, most weak ties probably arent going to become long-term relationships. I needed to set the stakes way lower. Her conversations tend to last just a few minutes, and sometimes, theyre nothing special. But just like a mediocre movie wouldnt make you swear off cinema forever, one bad conversation shouldnt keep you from trying again.Over time, these weak ties do benefit us, even if we dont especially notice them. They make us feel woven into the social fabric, Sandstrom says, like were part of something bigger. When I do talk to people, I feel better, she told me. Its almost always at least an average experience. And when a conversation is unusually engaging, it feels awesome, because I wouldnt expect there to be anything coming from it. RelatedValidate me, please!As I sped home from my first improv class, I detected something that, honestly, floored me. I was smiling. Even though I would continue to dread it for months, something about the whole exercise was just so fun. Im rarely immersed in something thats meant to be light and exuberant, as opposed to correct or exacting. Because it was the middle of the pandemic, it had been months since Id socialized with a group of people. The electricity of improv had invigorated me, in spite of myself.I found myself living out Lyubomirskys adage, that sometimes things that dont seem natural end up feeling pretty good. The pioneering psychologist Jerome Bruner said that you more likely act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action, and I had literally acted myself into feeling happy. Sometimes, it seems, introverts should agree to do activities before we feel like doing them. Occasionally, you have to commit to socializing. If you wait until youre in the mood, youll never go. See More: