Mommy issues and daddy issues are a lot more intricate than what popular culture deems them to ... [+] beespecially when it comes to relationships. Heres how they can manifest.gettyThe terms mommy issues and daddy issues are common in this day and agemost commonly as insults or jokes about someones dating choices. However, behind the casual language are very real psychological patterns. To no surprise, these patterns stem from our earliest relationships: the ones with our parents or primary caregivers.Importantly, these issues dont necessarily mean someone has a bad relationship with their parents, or even that they grew up without one. Instead, they reflect unmet emotional needs or unresolved attachment wounds from childhood and as time progresses, they inform how we connect with others in our adulthood.In psychology, these are known as parent woundsor the mother wound and father wound, respectively. Heres how they can manifest in romantic relationships.1. The Mother Wound In RelationshipsWhile anyone can have mommy issues, theyre most commonly associated with men. As research from the book Mens Way of Being suggests, this is likely due to the fact that young boysfor a variety of social and cultural reasonssimply arent allowed to be connected to their mothers in the same way girls are.In most cases, the mother wound stems from a particular turning point in childhood: when mothers may project the need for their children to become big boys or big girls, and to stop relying on them. In turn, mothers may becomeknowingly or unknowinglyemotionally unavailable or overcritical.Consequently, the mother wound is most commonly associated with difficulties in interpersonal dynamics related to nurturing, trust or emotional intimacy. Regardless of the specific root cause, these effects tend to fall into two broad patterns: seeking excessive validation from partners or pushing them away to avoid vulnerability.One such manifestation of this is an intense need for reassurance. An adult who grew up with a mother who was emotionally distant or dismissive will likely seek validation from their romantic partners. In other words, they may need frequent affirmations of love and worthinessas an extension of their childhood longing for appreciation.For instance, an individual struggling with the mother wound may become anxious if their partner doesnt respond to texts right away, or they may even interpret neutral behavior as rejection. This can make relationships feel draining for both partners; as one constantly seeks proof of love, while the other feels overwhelmed by the constant need to physically or verbally show it.Beyond seeking validation, some individuals may also seek a caretaker dynamic in their relationships. They might unconsciously try to find a partner who, in some way, resembles an idealized version of their mother figurea result of what early psychologists referred to as the Oedipus complex, as research from The Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research explains.In turn, they may seek someone whos nurturing, or even someone whos emotionally unavailablesubconsciously hoping to fix the past by proving they can finally gain that elusive love. This pattern can lead to codependency or an unbalanced relationship dynamic where one partner constantly gives while the other takes.On the other end of the spectrum, some individuals may respond by avoiding intimacy altogether. If a mother figure was overbearing or suffocating, the child might grow up to fear that level of closeness; at any cost, they will avoid losing their autonomy in the same way they did in childhood.As such, they may resist deep emotional connections, and opt instead for casual relationships. They may, again, even opt for emotionally unavailable partners to maintain a sense of control. While presenting themselves as fiercely independent or emotionally detached on the surface, their inner world is driven by the fear of being engulfed in someone elses needs and expectations.2. The Father Wound In RelationshipsWhile daddy issues, in popular culture, are most commonly associated with women, most psychological research on the father wound surrounds the father-son relationship. For both men and women, however, the father wound often originates from observations made in childhoodas research from the Australian & New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy explains.In more patriarchal settings, children tend to learn about power and domination from their fathersthe leaders of the householdfrom a young age. In turn, having an emotionally remote or absent father may later result in difficulties with establishing trust, problems with authority figures or struggles with self-esteem.These issues often develop when a father figure was absent, inconsistent, overly critical or harsh during a childs most precious, formative years. Just as with mother wounds, father wounds can manifest in two contrasting ways: clinging to partners for stability or keeping emotional distance as a self-protective measure.Fathers are presupposed to be a childs source of stability and safetyan icon of strength. However, if these needs for security are left unmet during childhood, individuals might seek partners who fill this void later on in adulthood.In some cases, people with a deep-seated father wound may find themselves drawn to partners who offer a sense of security and guidance. In others, they may seek relationships in which they are the beacon of security and guidance. Often, this represents the belief that being taken care of compensates for a lack of stability earlier in lifeeven if the relationship dynamics are overtly unhealthy or controlling.According to 2012 research from Child Abuse Review, this kind of father wound is resultant of a common patriarchal norm: that men should focus solely on maintaining order, while remaining emotionally stoic.In later adult relationships, however, this can lead to deeply unhealthy relationship dynamics. One partner holds all the power, responsibility and authority, and the other becomes their dependent; the emotional consequences of this being of little concern.On the other hand, some individuals with father wounds may react inversely by becoming hyper-independent, determined not to rely on anyone else for support. The lack of support or encouragement from their father figure may have led them to believe that they, themselves, are the only person worth relying onfor soothing or for problem solving.This can manifest as an irresistible drive to push people away when they try to get too close, or as a reluctance to ask for helpno matter how overwhelmed they are. They will fight tooth and nail to prove that they dont need anyone, even their romantic partners. The probable reality, however, is that theyre simply afraid of being let down or abandoned again.Have any of these dynamics made their way into your relationship? Take this science-backed test, and find out if its cause for concern: Relationship Satisfaction Scale