Long-distance is challenging for most couples, but creating true relationship security takes work ... More and personal accountability. Heres what can make all the difference.gettyAs any long-distance couple will likely tell you, a lot goes into bridging the gap and nurturing and sustaining their love. Whether its consistently staying up for phone calls at odd hours, saving for months to fly to each other or making sure their affection translates to the other person online, these couples arguably have to work harder than most at keeping their connection strong.Apart from the intentional effort that goes into it, certain internal factors also play a prominent role in the direction the relationship will take. In the end, how you treat and relate to your partner determines the true health of your connection, no matter the distance.A new study published this March in Personal Relationships examined these factors among both interracial and intraracial couples in long-distance relationships.Here are two essential factors that influence long-distance connections, according to the study.1. Your Ability To Truly Understand Your PartnerResearchers suggest that Partner Reflective Functioning (Partner RF) plays a crucial role in long-distance connections. This refers to the ability to understand and interpret a romantic partners behaviors in the context of their thoughts, emotions and experiences. This ability is crucial in maintaining emotional closeness, particularly in long-distance relationships, where nonverbal cues and in-person interactions are limited.Romantic partners do not have complete knowledge of one anothers histories. Thus, each member of the romantic dyad must use their knowledge of their romantic partner, and different sources of information to make educated guesses and inquiries about their partners mental state, the researchers explain.Heres how this ability can benefit long-distance couples:Understanding a partners mental state. Engaging in high partner reflecting functioning means being able to consider what your partner may be thinking or feeling even when they are not physically present. For example, after a frustrating conversation, a partner with high reflective functioning might reflect on whether their significant other had a stressful day at work or was feeling emotionally distant due to personal reasons, rather than assuming disinterest.Navigating miscommunication and uncertainty. In long-distance relationships, where text messages and video calls replace in-person communication, misunderstandings are more common. A partner with strong reflective functioning can recognize that a delayed response doesnt necessarily mean their partner is becoming distant or losing interest, but could be due to external factors such as work stress or time zone differences. This ability reduces unnecessary anxiety and sustains trust within the relationship.Enhancing emotional intimacy. By mentalizing considering their partners inner world individuals can deepen their emotional connection. This is especially important in interracial long-distance relationships, where partners may have different cultural perspectives and life experiences. A strong ability to engage in partner RF allows individuals to ask questions, express curiosity about their partners experiences and appreciate their unique viewpoints rather than making assumptions about how they feel.As the researchers poignantly explain, Individuals in interracial romantic relationships may have customs, beliefs or assumptions regarding relationships that do not align with their partners. Without a shared ethnoracial background to draw upon, it is especially important that they attempt to understand their perspective to avoid being insensitive, discriminatory or invalidating.For instance, a White partner may find it difficult to understand a Black partners mental states in response to minoritized experiences (e.g., discrimination, microaggressions) that they are not familiar with, they add, highlighting a prime example of the importance of partner RF in interracial long-distance couples.2. Your Attachment StyleAttachment styles, which develop early in life based on interactions with primary caregivers, play a crucial role in shaping how individuals experience and maintain romantic relationships and according to the researchers, in partner reflective functioning.Researchers focused on how three primary attachment styles influence long-distance relationships, analysing how individuals with different styles interact with their partners across physical and emotional gaps.Heres what their research suggests:Secure attachment. Individuals with a secure attachment style generally experience trust, stability and confidence in their relationships. They are comfortable with both emotional closeness and independence, which can be beneficial in long-distance relationships. Because they dont require constant reassurance from their partners, theyre likely to handle time apart more effectively, focusing on meaningful communication rather than giving into excessive worry or doubt. Securely attached individuals are also more likely to engage in open and honest discussions about their needs, which strengthens the relationship despite physical separation.Anxious attachment. Those with an anxious attachment style crave closeness and reassurance but often fear abandonment and rejection. This can lead to heightened distress in a long-distance relationship, as the lack of immediate physical presence may intensify fears of rejection or disinterest. Individuals high in attachment anxiety may overanalyze messages, seek constant reassurance and feel emotionally dysregulated when their partner is not immediately available. This can create cycles of miscommunication and strain on the relationship, making it difficult for both partners to feel secure.Avoidant attachment. People with avoidant attachment strongly prioritize independence and may struggle with emotional intimacy. In long-distance relationships, they may minimize communication or emotional expression, possibly viewing distance as a relief rather than a challenge to overcome. Their reluctance to express vulnerability can make their partner feel unimportant or emotionally disconnected, leading to frustration and misaligned expectations, particularly if their partner has a more anxious attachment style.Most importantly, researchers found that especially in interracial long-distance relationships, attachment anxiety and avoidance are associated with lower partner reflective functioning, while attachment security is associated with a greater ability to understand and relate to a partners behavior and mental state.This suggests that security in attachment might feed the emotional curiosity and adaptability needed to bridge cultural and physical distance, and the good news is, attachment security can always be cultivated and enhanced.Partners high in attachment security may perceive differences within the relationship as a cue or invitation to lean in, ask more questions and become more curious about their partner, the researchers write.In contrast, highly anxious individuals may become overly focused on their own fears of rejection rather than genuinely considering their partners emotional state, leading to misinterpretations and frequent emotional distress.Meanwhile, highly avoidant individuals may dismiss the importance of understanding their partners emotions, leading to emotional disconnect. Interracial long-distance relationships may experience additional challenges due to cultural differences, requiring even greater emotional awareness and communication skills.Specifically, communication that occurs without nonverbal cues, such as texting, may need to be reduced, whereas communication over the phone or video may allow individuals to use nonverbal cues to engage in higher levels of partner RF, the researchers recommend.In the end, maintaining a successful relationship, long-distance or otherwise, involves cultivating a deep sense of curiosity and willingness to learn about your partner throughout your relationship.Such emotional attunement requires a fair amount of inner work attending to your own needs, healing inner wounds and being able to extend that compassion and empathy to your partner by creating space for their inner world. This allows both partners to meet in the middle from a place of healing, empowering them to be true partners to one another, regardless of the distance.Can you understand and empathize with your partners experiences and perspectives? Take the science-backed Cognitive Empathy Scale to find out.