
3 Myths About How Body Counts Affect Your Love Life By A Psychologist
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Everyone on the internet has an opinion about how your "body count" affects your relationships. But ... More what does science have to say on the subject?gettyThe topic of sexual partners is something that sparks extremely heated debates in most social circles. Harsh opposing views can be heard on every side of the argument, and it does not seem like either side is going to change their mind any time soon.On one side, people with a more conservative view believe that keeping your body count as low as possible if youre not in a committed relationship ultimately improves the quality of your future relationship. Other people feel like they should be allowed to have as many partners as they choose without being judged by society.The number of sexual partners you have in your lifetime is one of the most personal aspects of your life. Ultimately, only you can decide what feels right for you. However, popular media and social discourse have turned this topic into a moral battleground, perpetuating myths that reinforce shame, fear and outdated stereotypes.Here are three common myths about how body count affects relationships.Myth 1: A High Body Count Damages RelationshipsIf youve gone down the dark rabbit hole of this topic, youve probably heard one or more podcast hosts refer to people, especially women, as somehow tainted if they have a high body count. The rhetoric pushed here is that someone with a high body count has less value and will either make a terrible partner or no one will want them in the first place.This belief is often fueled by cultural and religious norms rather than scientific evidence. While some people personally prefer partners with less sexual experience, there is no research proving that a high body count makes someone a bad partner. In fact, research suggests a much more nuanced relationship between premarital sexual experience and divorce rates.Women with very few or many partners before marriage face a higher risk of divorce, while those with moderate experience (3-9 partners) have the lowest risk. And while virgins do have the lowest risk overall, this number has declined significantly over time.This suggests that marrying a partner with a low body count does not guarantee a long-lasting relationship. More importantly, it challenges the idea that sexual experience alone determines relationship success. What matters far more are qualities like emotional intelligence, communication skills, compatibility and the ability to work through conflict.Myth 2: People With High Body Counts Dont Value IntimacyJust because someone comes into a relationship with significant sexual experience does not mean they view intimacy as unimportant. Someone with multiple prior partners is no less capable than others of forming deep connections in a committed relationship.At its core, intimacy is about emotional closeness, trust and vulnerability. A person with a high body count may, in fact, have developed a deeper understanding of intimacy through their experiences, learning what creates connection and what doesnt. They may have gained valuable insights into emotional availability, communication and mutual pleasure, which can enhance their ability to nurture a meaningful bond.This is not to say that having multiple partners might not affect your relationship with your future partner at all. The more people you experience a sexual relationship with, the more comparisons you might be inclined to make.If youve had former partners who excelled in certain areas of intimacy, you may be more likely to notice where your spouse falls short. A 2023 report from the Wheatley Institute found that individuals who had only ever been with their spouse reported higher sexual satisfaction and longer-lasting marriages. This may be because they have no basis for comparison, leading to greater contentment and appreciation within the relationship.However, when either or both partners do have experience to compare to, it also equips them to understand what works best for them, and gives them a chance to show their partners how to meet their needs. This creates an opportunity for healthy communication and can bring partners closer, rather than expecting the other person to just know what they like.Moreover, the idea that a person with a high body count is incapable of deep connection is rooted in outdated assumptions about sexuality and morality. People have different reasons for engaging in sex some may seek connection, others may explore their own desires and some may simply enjoy the experience. None of these motivations inherently diminish a persons capacity for love, emotional depth or long-term commitment.Myth 3: People With A High Body Count Cannot CommitA popular argument against having multiple partners before tying the knot is that your sense of commitment will be warped. People who push this viewpoint are under the assumption that having a large number of sexual partners renders you incapable of commitment.However, research does not support this claim. A 2023 study in Social Science Research found that while having multiple non-marital sexual partners is linked to lower short-term odds of marriage, this effect diminishes over time and has little impact on long-term commitment.In other words, early sexual experiences may influence when someone chooses to settle down, but they do not dictate whether they will be capable of maintaining a committed relationship in the future.Commitment is determined by a mindset, not a number. People with extensive sexual experience can be just as devoted and faithful as those with little or no experience.At its core, the idea that body count determines commitment, relationship success or personal worth is deeply flawed. People are not defined by the number of partners theyve had but by the way they approach love, trust and connection in their relationships.A persons ability to commit is shaped by their emotional readiness, communication skills and shared values with their partner not by a past tally of experiences.Moreover, the term body count itself carries a strong undercurrent of shame, particularly toward women. It reduces human relationships to a mere statistic and often reinforces outdated, sexist double standards.While men are frequently praised for their sexual experience, women with the same history are more likely to be judged or deemed less valuable. This language reflects a broader cultural issue of objectification one that equates a womans worth with her sexual past while ignoring the far more important qualities that make someone a loving, loyal and committed partner.Instead of focusing on arbitrary numbers, we should shift the conversation to what truly matters in relationships mutual respect, trust, emotional security and the ability to grow together. Whether someone enters a partnership with extensive experience or none at all, their past should not overshadow their present ability to build something meaningful.Is body count discourse a point of contention in your relationship? Take the Relationship Satisfaction Scale to learn how it could be affecting your bond.
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