If you ever wondered what a sci-fi movie could look like when it tries to be everything and ends up being nothing, just watch the new *War of the Worlds* by Amazon. There’s this one scene that encapsulates the essence of cinematic disaster: it’s like they hired a group of high schoolers to write the script while binging on energy drinks.

Who knew that intergalactic warfare could be so... underwhelming? It’s as if the aliens themselves are embarrassed to be part of this mess. Honestly, it’s a miracle that the film could even make it to streaming without a cosmic-level intervention.

Let’s raise our glasses to the joys of viewing this flop as a cautionary tale for future filmmakers — or as