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2 Reasons Why Hibernation Relationships Dont LastBy A Psychologist
As winters chill sets in, many seek warmth and companionship, leading to intense but fleeting ... [+] romances that often fade with the changing seasons.gettyA hibernation relationship refers to when a couple comes together during the winter months, spending significant time denning indoors, away from the cold. Its like being in a cozy bubble where they find comfort in each others company, embracing the intimacy and quiet of the season.Whether its binge-watching shows, cooking elaborate meals or spending entire weekends lounging on the couch, couples in these relationships savor the cocooning nature of winter. This seasonal closeness can feel magical.The slower pace of winter also naturally encourages introspection and bonding. With less pressure to socialize, partners often deepen their connection. Emotional intimacy grows and shared activities create a sense of closeness that can feel genuine and specialwhile it lasts. As spring approaches, the dynamic in such relationships begins to change.The Psychology Behind Hibernation RelationshipsFrom a psychological standpoint, hibernation relationships can be viewed as a response to seasonal rhythms. Winter naturally invites reflection and retreat, aligning with our need for rest and rejuvenation. During this time, the desire for physical warmth, emotional comfort and connection often leads people to seek intimate companionship.Additionally, research published in Perception suggests that perceptions of physical attractiveness can vary seasonally, with participants rating certain traits differently in winter as compared to summer. Specifically, preferences related to body shape were found to fluctuate, with higher ratings of attractiveness in the colder months and lower ratings during warmer seasons.MORE FOR YOUSimilarly, the psychological dynamics of hibernation relationships also shift as winter ends. The change in seasons often triggers a change in priorities, which can lead to the dissolution of hibernation relationships.Warmer weather brings new energy, naturally triggering a desire to re-enter the world. The spontaneity of outdoor activities, reconnecting with friends and resurgence of social events stir up a sense of restlessness and a need for novelty. A once-cozy dynamic can start to feel suffocating and the romance that flourished indoors begins to fizzle.Here are two reasons why these relationships may no longer fulfill the emotional needs of either person as spring takes hold:1. Internal Changes Echo Environmental ChangesIn the winter, couples in hibernation relationships find intimacy in the quiet, closed-off space they share. However, as winter passes, the confinement of indoor spaces, combined with the lack of external stimulation, can cause tension and a sense of stagnation in relationships.As the weather warms, they often feel the urge to seek out new social and engaging environments outside the home. This desire for novelty and activity in the outside world can unintentionally create distance, reducing the quality time spent together and making it harder to maintain connection.Katherine Milkman, a Wharton researcher, explores this idea in her work on the fresh start effect. According to her, moments like New Years, birthdays or the first day of a new season inspire motivation by offering a sense of a clean slatesomething that can be especially impactful in relationships.Milkmans research found that even subtle moments, like the first day of spring, can significantly boost goal setting. People were 3.5 times more likely to set goals on springs first day than any other, highlighting the power of seasonal shifts to motivate growth and change. This explains why couples can also feel the urge to reset and commit to new goals for their relationships.Seasonal changes can also influence hormones, affecting our emotions and physiology. For instance, a 2016 study found that testosterone levels tend to be lower in winter and rise with warmer weather.As testosterone levels increase in the spring, people may experience a heightened desire for exploration and activity, which can draw them away from a relationship that thrived during the quieter winter months. These hormonal fluctuations can make hibernation relationships feel less fulfilling as the season changes.2. Most People Enter Hibernation Relationships For The Wrong ReasonsIn some cases, one partner might expect a hibernation relationship to continue beyond the winter months, while the other views it as a temporary connection to pass the cold season. These misaligned expectations can lead to disappointment and, eventually, a breakup once spring arrives.Sometimes, a fear of being single or feeling alone can also cause us to settle for relationships were not really committed to or excited about, but enter to find security and a sense of connection. However, this rarely creates a strong enough foundation to keep couples together, as what binds them is situational, rather than stemming from aligned core values and genuine compatibility.So, the transition from winter to spring can stir up various environmental, emotional and biological factors that make the dynamics of a hibernation relationship unsustainable, leading to its eventual end.While such relationships may provide warmth and companionship during colder months, they can leave partners feeling confused or emotionally vulnerable when they fade. If one partner is caught off guard by the breakup, it can trigger feelings of abandonment or inadequacy.Hibernation relationships, like any short-term connection, require emotional maturity to navigate. Its important for partners to assess whether the relationship is based on long-term compatibility or simply a seasonal connection. Recognizing its temporary nature can help mitigate disappointment, allowing both individuals to view it as a positive chapter rather than a failure.Here are some practical strategies to navigate the tricky terrain of hibernation relationships.Communicate expectations. Both partners need to be upfront about what they want from the relationship. Are they seeking something long-term or is this just a seasonal connection? Open dialogue can help prevent misunderstandings later.Avoid over-investment. While its easy to get swept up in the warmth of a hibernation relationship, maintaining a sense of individual identity is crucial. Spending time with friends, pursuing personal hobbies and staying engaged in your own life ensures you dont become overly reliant on the relationship and stay attuned to your own needs, which helps avoid impulsive decision-making in your love life.Be prepared for change. Understanding that a dynamic based on a solely seasonal connection will likely shift when spring arrives helps manage expectations. If you only seek a short-term connection, embrace the relationship for what it is in the moment, while acknowledging that change is a natural part of life.Take time for reflection. If a hibernation relationship ends, take time to reflect on what it taught you about your emotional needs and relationship dynamics. What was fulfilling during the winter months? What did you learn about your desires for companionship?In essence, hibernation relationships may not last forever, but they can serve as an opportunity for growth, connection and exploration. These seasonal relationships offer valuable insights into the role that timing, our environment and emotional needs play in our connections with others.Does a fear of being single cause you to choose relationships that arent built to last? Take the science-backed Fear Of Being Single Scale to find out.
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