Sleeps Dopesmoker is legendarily heavy. On any halfway decent sound system, itll rattle your ribcage. Its sort of like being slowly assaulted by a massage chair. In 2015, Guitar World named it the heaviest album ever recorded. You will definitely not find anything heavier, wrote Ethan Varian.On November 6th, for no reason in particular, I was in the right mood to accept that challenge.I wanted a riff that would flatten me. I listened to 26 extremely heavy albums, recommended by friends and strangers. Four challengers made it to a semi-final round, where I listened to them back-to-back followed by Dopesmoker. One album was so heavy I did the back-to-back listen three times.And I have to say: Ive found something heavier.But to begin, we have to discuss heavy as an aesthetic.Heavy is, somehow, not the same as brutal or aggressive. The point is getting bludgeoned: rhabdomyolysis, osteolysis, being left crushed on the pavement.Heavy is, somehow, not the same as brutal or aggressiveDopesmoker is the standard Im measuring against. Its such an intense album that if Im listening to Dopesmoker, thats pretty much all Im doing. The 2022 version of the album, a remaster for streaming services, consists of two songs: Dopesmoker and Hot Lava Man.Dopesmoker the song is more than one hour long. It is characterized by a pounding megalithic riff, which varies slightly on each repetition. It is possibly the loudest minimalist composition I have ever heard. The guitars are downtuned two steps from standard tuning, which makes them sound denser. There is a ton of bass that often echos the guitar and makes it sound even heavier.The song moves like a granite statue come to life. The guitar, the bass, and the vocal track all move together like a hymn. It takes eight minutes to get to the iconic first line: Drop out of life with bong in hand. The vocals sound like chanting. The drums are recessed in the mix the cymbals are whats most noticeable and fairly simple.Dopesmoker is thick. Its also slow. Thats what makes it so visceral. The guitar solos, while excellent, are not really responsible for heaviness. Mostly, they render the riffs heavier by comparison.If I had to isolate a common musical lineage among all the albums, its Black Sabbath. (Duh?)During my quest to match or exceed this standard for heavy, the most common suggestions I received were Electric Wizards Dopethrone, Bongrippers Satan Worshipping Doom, and Boriss Amplifier Worship. I dropped all the suggestions I could into a Spotify playlist and made note of the ones Id need to listen to on Bandcamp. Some bands, such as Sunn O))) and The Body, had multiple entries.Listening to all 26 albums I collected was slow going because I only listened. This wasnt background music. Usually, Id sit down and just focus on an album per day.If I had to isolate a common musical lineage all the albums in contention, its Black Sabbath. (Duh?) Theres a kind of purist quality to the Sabbath worship, particularly from Church of Misery and the subgenre of stoner metal. One of the other albums in consideration was Godfleshs Streetcleaner, which was striking in this context; it was surrounded by material it had clearly inspired. The two other bands Id point to as formative for the quest for heaviness are the Melvins and Sunn O))), which was the only band that freaked out my cat. The heaviest tracks I listened to on my quest were aggressively anti-commercial; its hard to imagine them being played on corporate radio. Black Boned Angels Verdun is one song thats almost 52 minutes long. Khanates self-titled album seems fully uninterested in concepts such as grooves, song structure, and sanity.Shallow North Dakotas Mob Wheel was bludgeoning. It was refreshing to hear music that felt insistent on itself as an experienceFamously, Dopesmoker itself wasnt initially released because it had no commercial prospects. London Records had promised Sleep full creative control and then, upon hearing the album, shelved it. (This was among the tensions that led to the bands breakup.)The slowness that makes music really heavy stands in contrast to TikTok-ified music, which is generally sped up if its not already upbeat. It was refreshing to hear music that felt insistent on itself as an experience.From all my listening, four contenders emerged: Boriss Amplifier Worship, Hells Live at Roadburn, Bongrippers Empty, and The Body / Thous collaboration Released from Love / You, Whom I Have Always Hated. It seemed possible Id find that Dopesmoker was the pinnacle by default a testament to an aesthetic no one was trying to achieve anymore. But Empty is from 2024, Live at Roadburn was released in 2018, and Released from Love / You, Whom I Have Always Hated is from 2015.This left me with Hells Live At RoadburnTo handle the semi-finals, I listened to each album back-to-back with Dopesmoker, which made judging surprisingly easy. Amplifier Worship, Empty and Released from Love were knocked out almost immediately. This left me with Hells Live At Roadburn. Its an odd choice since its basically a live version of Hells self-titled album, but its decidedly heavier, particularly the songs Subodin and Machikitos. That may be partly because live songs work differently than studio versions not least because theres a band instead of Matthew S. Williams, who records as MSW, doing all the parts himself.Live at Roadburn is not just heavier than Hells self-titled; its also heavier than Dopesmoker.So, what renders Roadburn heavier? For starters, the guitars are literally tuned lower I think to drop A flat rather than drop C. And though the songs on Roadburn often use repetition, theres also variation on the tempo, which generally slows (Helmzmen sort of grinds to a halt). Theres more fuzzed-out feedback. But the deciding factor is the drums, which are much higher in the mix on Roadburn than on Dopesmoker, which means I can feel the bass and tom. On Machitikos in particular, the pummeling drums underline and thicken a guitar solo.For guitar purists, my verdict may be suspect. After all, Im taking into account drums in a riff-based medium. There are, however, only so many ways to get heavy, which makes the drums the equivalent of the full-body swimsuits the Olympics banned for making swimmers too fast. Roadburn would probably still be heavier with the drums lower in the mix probably but the drums make it decisive.Listen to both albums back-to-back on good speakers. (Headphones wont get the job done here.) Once you feel Roadburn in your sternum, I dont think there will be any room for argument. Spending two hours listening to music as an activity while doing nothing else is something people should do more often. Music is still powerful, if youre willing to pay attention.