Robert Eggerss Nosferatu is about so many things, but perhaps most urgently this: Never tell an old, ugly man you are interested in him because hell never leave you alone.He will abandon the small town hes terrorizing and immigrate as difficult as organizing a coffin shipment by naval vessel can be to a new country. He will partake in shady real estate deals. He will bring plague. He will embarrass you and torment your friends. He will try to kill your husband but also maybe have sex with him too. He will send you inappropriate messages and haunt your dreams. And he will not stop until he dies. Perhaps even more undying than a vampire living in snowy Carpathian Mountains is the never-ending discourse about inappropriate age-gap relationships. (And isnt every vampire story, at its heart, about age gaps?) A common refrain of late: that the younger people involved in these relationships are being taken advantage of; that these relationships are inherently problematic. Even when both people involved are above the age of consent, even decades removed from age 18, the younger person is often infantilized and the older of the pair is deemed predatory. Examining and questioning relational power dynamics is part of the legacy of the Me Too movement.At the same time, age gaps have captured Hollywoods imagination, especially in the last few years. This has received some probing treatment Todd Hayness 2023 film May December comes to mind. Recently, theres been a spurt of rom-coms where an older woman pursues a younger man, changing the power dynamic and imagery we usually think of: older men, suffering a midlife crisis of sorts, pursuing much younger women. Ushering us into 2025, however, weve seen a new, somewhat bleak cohort: age gap relationships that seem to simply destroy the romances elder. Not unlike Nosferatus Count Orlok, the older people in Queer and Babygirl are down bad. The three movies all explore the idea of desire, especially for youth, being tethered to humiliation. Even if theyre centuries older than the objects of their desire, these mature partners dont hold the power. Its an inversion of the recent discourse and a return to an earlier stereotype.The immortal embarrassment of NosferatuThe arduous, debilitating affair between melancholic 1830s waif Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp) and her vampire lover-enemy Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgrd, under tons of prosthetics) begins with deception. Years before the main events of the film, when she was younger and ostensibly underage, Ellen calls out for a guardian angel, a spirit of comfort, a spirit of any celestial sphere in order to be less alone. Answering her message on the astral plane is Orlok, a 16th-century Transylvanian nobleman-turned-vampire who appears to her in silhouette, a veiled shadow form. You are not for the living. You are not for human kind, he tells her, seducing her and making her sleepwalk. And shall you be one with me ever-eternally. Do you swear it? Believing him an angel or some otherworldly being, she agrees.Arent all vampire stories, at their heart, about a problematic age-gap relationship? Courtesy of Focus FeaturesAt this, Orlok takes advantage of their connection sending her into pleasure and pain, orgasm and seizure. Several years later, Ellen has moved on from the one night when Orlok catfished her. Unfortunately for her, the mustachioed undead Transylvanian has never stopped thinking about their time together, and when he learns that shes happily married to a real estate agent named Thomas (Nicholas Hoult), Orlok plans to immigrate to Ellen and Thomass new home of Wisburg, Germany, to physically consummate the promise she made to him years ago. Of course, Orlok represents a multitude of metaphors. He can be seen as an embodiment of Ellens darker sexual desires, ones that society rarely makes room for. He can be read as the shame from those desires. Perhaps hes mental illness or a death wish. All of these possible, overlapping interpretations have made Orlok an ironic romance icon. Eggers is purposely ambiguous when it comes to Ellen and Orloks connection. We know theres pleasure and pain, obliterating violation and welcoming desire, but its impossible to separate all these parts from one another. This isnt to say Orlok isnt evil, but that his evilness does not exclude him from being pitiful.He spends the entire movie stalking Ellen to make good on her vow. After his machinations bring Thomas to Transylvania, Orlok mesmerizes him into signing a strange document that seemingly gives his wife away. (Orlok enjoys predatory legal practices.) Orlok then somehow packs himself up in his coffin on a ship to Wisburg, and starts showing up in Ellens dreams, either attempting to nocturnally seduce her or possessing her to freakily seduce her husband. I am an appetite. Nothing more, Orlok tells her, trying to explain how she isnt like the other potential vessels of plague that he wants to gnaw on. Shes special. Oer centuries, a loathsome beast I lay within the darkest pit til you did wake me, enchantress, and stirred me from my grave. You are my affliction.All that paperwork, sorcery, and immigration for one pre-teen girl he met on the astral plane is so embarrassing. Can you say obsessed? Its fully understandable why Ellen wouldnt want to tell her rich friends about the extremely weird, eternal, plague-carrying Eastern European creep she had a violent, psychic tryst with years ago. There would be a lot of questions. For all of his dark power, Orlok is not in command when it comes to Ellen. His obsession with Ellens consent, with her admission that she wants him as bad as he does, is his doom. Ellen realizes that in order to rid herself of Orlok and save Wisburg, she needs to make him believe she desires him in the way he desires her. As the sun vaporizes him, he shrivels and liquefies happily, still believing she wants this as badly as he does. Pathetic Count Orlok isnt that different from Daniel Craigs Lee in Queer. In the film adaptation of William S. Burroughss novel, Lee desperately chases the icy Allerton (played by Drew Starkey) in and out of the gay nooks and crannies of 1950s Mexico City. Lees day doesnt start until hes seen the younger man and doesnt end until hes said goodnight. Lee cant even enjoy the time they spend together because hes so worried about when theyll see each other next. Their relationship is a negotiation. Lee struggles with ideas of sexuality and companionship, both his own and Allertons. Lee is unhappy, and we see the link between his agony and drug use; how much of that stems from his queerness isnt clear. Allerton represents a revelation of sorts, a possibility that Lee doesnt have to be so lonely. Thats why he matters so much and why Lee is so invested, addicted even. Its more difficult to see what Allerton sees in Lee, a man whos often so sweaty, exhausting, drunk, and obsessive. In an attempt to solidify whatever they may have, Lee invites Allerton for a trip to South America on his dime. He begs for the opportunity to throw money at their relationship, only to be shunned and teased throughout their journey. Everyone is so beautiful in Queer that you might be fooled into thinking its some dreamy romance. Courtesy of A24The more Allerton pulls away, the more humiliation Lee subjects himself to. Hes at the bar because he thinks Allerton might show up. Hes sitting in windows hoping Allerton will stroll by. He stares at the moon they share. Under Luca Guadagninos direction, that desperate, earnest yearning doesnt ever come across as sympathetic the way it might in a conventional romantic story. Queer requires a little suspension of disbelief. Craig is handsome and is (along with everyone else) beautifully styled. How pathetic could a beautiful man in a beautiful movie really be? But Lees meant to be seen as someone that resembles the way we used to think about single, down bad, older men before we dubbed so many of them daddy and the others problematic. If you squint, you can see the tracings of a man in mid-life crisis trying, desperately, to woo and buy affection from a much younger girlfriend or boyfriend who may or may not actively partake in a little gold-digging. The more hes taken for a ride, the more harmless he becomes. Its a figure weve seen in some form from literature like Lolita (even if Humbert Humbert was only harmless in his own mind), to films like Some Like It Hot and Best in Show, to the contemporaneous cultural understanding of the late Anna Nicole Smiths marriage. Starkeys Allerton is cut from the same opaque cloth as another young lover from this winters film season: Harris Dickinson as Samuel in Halina Reijns Babygirl. We dont know much about either (perhaps because both Queer and Babygirl are a tad underwritten). The little we do know: Instead of haunting midcentury Mexico City, Samuel works as an intern in modern day New York City for Tensile, an Amazon-like tech conglomerate. At the top of Tensiles corporate ladder is Nicole Kidmans Romy, its shivery CEO. Its impossible to tell whether Romy is enamored with Samuel because shes genuinely attracted to him or if shes just so sexually unhappy with her playwright husband (Antonio Banderas) that anyone with a little oomph would do. With so much of her life in check, Romy thirsts for chaos. Samuels subordinate position maximizes that. He comes to represent both relief and danger an escape from the responsibilities of Romys girlboss existence and the threat to her money, family, and career if he ever tells his and Romys company about their relationship. Their first meeting is in a dark, gross hotel. He tells her to get on her knees. They both giggle, and, at first, find the whole role-play a little awkward. Perhaps its all a bit ridiculous. But something about following orders makes her feel like an animal, and carnally fulfills her. He tells her to crawl to him. He tells her to undress, and show him her body, her vulnerabilities. He tells her to lap up milk, like a kitten, from a saucer at his feet. Romy submits every time, finding thrill in the passivity. Nicole Kidman in Babygirl learns to crawl. Courtesy of A24Samuel has nothing to lose and she has everything. When he withdraws his affection, she comes crawling. Romy continually finds herself at Samuels beck and call, whether its at her own house, a hip hotel, or a rave, which she attends in a pussybow blouse. Its a distinct departure from Kidmans other 2024 age-gap romance, A Family Affair, which fell into the empowering category. At the end of the film, Romy ships Samuel away and figures out how to have sex with Antonio Banderas. She learns what she saw in Samuel, and what she got out of their relationship a moment of self-discovery about her own unspoken desires and repression. And were left with maybe our own small revelation: Perhaps being embarrassing is one of the wrinkles an age-gap romance can never totally get rid of.Youve read 1 article in the last monthHere at Vox, we're unwavering in our commitment to covering the issues that matter most to you threats to democracy, immigration, reproductive rights, the environment, and the rising polarization across this country.Our mission is to provide clear, accessible journalism that empowers you to stay informed and engaged in shaping our world. By becoming a Vox Member, you directly strengthen our ability to deliver in-depth, independent reporting that drives meaningful change.We rely on readers like you join us.Swati SharmaVox Editor-in-ChiefSee More: