Before having kids I was an editor at "Parenting" magazine and shared parenting advice.I thought I was ready to be a mom and used the techniques experts shared in our magazine.My kids did not respond to them, and that's OK because all kids are different.Before I had kids, I was an editor at "Parenting" magazine, where I gave expert-backed advice on sleep training, potty training, and using training wheels on bikes. So, when I had my first child in 2014, I thought I was well-trained.A couple of years later, I became the editor in chief of "Working Mother" magazine and a mom of two. Now that my boys are ages 6 and 10, I can safely say that the advice I printed on those pages has done little to help me successfully parent my sons.Parenting is not so simpleFor instance, we gave an oft-repeated tip in "Parenting." "If your child is having trouble picking what they want, or you need them to do something they're refusing to do, give your kid two choices you can live with. They'll happily pick one because they'll feel like they're in control without being overwhelmed." So I felt like a genius when I whipped out this old trick on my then-preschooler who wouldn't choose a meal at a restaurant."OK, you get to decide," I told my 3-year-old, ensuring he felt like he was in the driver's seat. "Do you want chicken nuggets or mac and cheese?" I envisioned being met with a wide smile and sheer elation to have a mother so well-versed in child psychology, followed by a definitive choice and contented peace.The reality was far different. And louder."None of these!" my son shouted. Wails and flails followed. We had to cool off with a walk outside.I tried this trick many more times on both kids. After all, I promised others it'd work. "Do you want to bring a pretend ice cube or an Indiana state magnet for I day for show and tell?" "Do you want to wear your green or black jacket?" "Do you want to hop into day care or tiptoe in?""None of these!" "None of these!" "None of these! (I had to stifle the urge to squeeze in a grammar lesson: "You mean neither of these.")My kids did the opposite of what I thought they'd doAs the kids got older, I imparted wisdom ripped from the magazines, like telling them, "We don't talk about other people's bodies." Surely, my oldest would wind up being one of the good guys, given how often we discussed this.On the last day of summer camp, a director called to say my 10-year-old was part of a group of boys who told a girl she'd break the trampoline because she was so big. Cue my shock and horror. My former fat self couldn't look at my son that night probably not the most successful parenting strategy either.We've given our kids chores, as I'd always written parents should do. The idea is to foster responsibility and instill confidence. Instead, there are weekly screaming matches about bringing out the trash. The tantrums over child labor subside more quickly when I up my firstborn's allowance. We've gone from a dollar for garbage schlepping to $5. I'm sure an expert I've quoted in articles would tell me I'm teaching my kids to throw a fit when they don't get their way. I'm also sure they've never seen the depths of destruction my 5'1 tween is capable of when he doesn't want to do something without pay.Kids can suck sometimesNow that I'm a decade into parenting, and not just a parenting editor, I know at least some of this is to be expected and at least some of this isn't my fault. Every kid sucks a little. And some kids (like mine) can suck a lot.But my kids aren't me, nor are they always a reflection of my parenting. They sometimes can't control their stupid impulses. Not everything I teach them sinks in. Besides, not every tip in parenting magazines applies to every kid anyway. Plus, parenting advice is more likely to work in a vacuum, not a desperate moment when a parent needs to do whatever it takes to calm their child.So, I'm focusing on little wins. We recently had excellent parent-teacher conferences. My kids are usually kind to their classmates and try to be helpful. If our children are progressing toward being useful more than they're hurtful, then we parents are all doing something right. Even if we don't feel like the paragons of success magazine editors like me led us to believe we could become.