Hello, and welcome to Group Chat, where culture reporters Rebecca Jennings and Alex Abad-Santos discuss the topics currently blowing up our (and probably your) phones.Old people have fretted about the sex that young people are (or arent) having since time immemorial. But lately it feels like the tension has amped up in wilder and weirder ways. Under Trump 2.0, with a hedonistic vibe in the air and a palpable nihilism, youd think we would collectively loosen up some of our oldest ideas about sex, but if the past week is any indication, thats not happening yet. This week, X (formerly known as Twitter) erupted into discourse about IUDs. Polyamorous people once again became the victim of the internets collective bullying, while the same old Gen Z are puritans who cant handle sex in movies conversation reared its head again. Then, a magazine declared that everyone is horny.But are they? Whats actually going on here? Rebecca Jennings and Alex Abad-Santos attempt to have a discussion about sex on the internet thats still SFW. Rebecca Jennings: So its become increasingly evident that we cant, as a society, have a normal conversation about sex anymore. More than that, it feels like sex positivity is dead?Earlier this week, a guy posted a photo of his roommate doing a happy little jig because his girlfriend got an IUD, and a lot of people criticized him for celebrating womens pain (because IUD insertion is often very painful), for not getting a vasectomy instead, or for not loving her. What did you think of all that?Alex Abad-Santos: I mean, if you read the sentences you just wrote, I dont think you have to guess how I feel. There is no winning on the internet. Social media, X especially, is a place where you could post that you love golden retrievers and someone would be like, Wow I cant believe you want to inflict harm on Chihuahuas, you ableist. Of course posting something personal about birth control and implicitly sex was going to end with the worst conversation possible. Weirdos being reductive about birth control! Internet users with anime profile pics being regressive about women having sex! Strangers weaponizing therapy speak! I love being able to read in times like these! Rebecca: It makes me feel insane because its like, the fight for access to birth control was such a foundational part of second wave feminism, and now its 50 years later and self-described feminists are acting as though birth control is a burden or it only benefits men. Like, we fucking fought for this, guys! Sex should be fun and safe and pleasurable and birth control helps with that!Alex: RJ, that doesnt take into account the social media rules of consensual sex. Before two consenting adults even think about having sex, they also have to think about whether some internet stranger that they never met approves! On the other side of this, you know who cant win? Polyamorous people they are the victims of the joke one that transcends generations and political affiliation that they all look like that. (The vagueness of the original video is deliberate, allowing people to fill in the blanks, but some viewers connected their own dots in the comment section, describing the look as Ren Faire employees, Steven Universe kids, or adults in cookie monster pajamas.)Rebecca: I really feel for our polyamorous brethren. Theyve replaced bisexuals as the internets punching bag.Alex: Seriously though, youve written about this. The worst-faith conversations people are having about the IUD guy are not unlike the woman who made chili for her neighbors or the wife that tweeted about enjoying a cup of coffee with her husband seemingly everyone is addicted to being disingenuous for a few internet points. As you said then, it all points to how high the stakes seem to be for interpersonal encounters that are objectively nobodys business, and how so often our thirst for drama is really a thirst for punishment. Couple that with the dire state of media literacy, and like, of course no one is going to be able to talk about sex in a fun and normal way! Rebecca: And then theres all this discourse about young people hating sex scenes in movies. Not to be all, Whats up with kids these days, but literally like, what do you think is up with kids these days?Alex: This feels like a trap. Rebecca: Any time I can get you to put on your 40-something man hat and complain about the children, Im gonna do it. Alex: Not you outing me. I do think theres something to millennials growing up with a lot of sexually progressive for the time pop culture. The Real World showed us LGBTQ people. Sex and the City gave us Carrie Bradshaw and, more importantly, Samantha Jones. Even sitcoms like Frasier and Seinfeld (with canonically hot Elaine) frequently touched upon the characters having sex. Millennials are also the first generation that grew up on internet porn. Perhaps thats one of the reasons why millennials may be more relaxed about other people having sex and enjoying it. And if Gen Z is all about pointing out millennial cringe and everything we did wrong, then it makes sense that they find millennial sex positivity cringey too? Does Gen Z find Samantha Jones cringe? Courtesy of HBOLike, millennials are guilty of creating that entire I need Jason Momoa to hit me with their car, reverse, and run me over until I am nothing but sentient meaty pulp speak to say they found someone attractive. Thats immensely cringe.Rebecca: Thats an interesting argument that Gen Zs aversion to sex might just be an aversion to millennials. Alex: Whats sort of funny though is that the culture that millennials absorbed as children, was all created by older Gen X and boomers, who were reacting to more rigid attitudes from the Greatest Generation and beyond. And then if you apply this idea that generational attitudes reflected in generational art and culture shape the upcoming generations to Gen Z, did younger Gen X and millennials drop the ball?Its not our fault, is it? Rebecca: I posited this already on Twitter, but part of me wonders whether it has to do with parasocial relationships. Young people might be empathizing with the actors in sex scenes to a fault they feel that they know these actors (or perhaps that they are them) and are projecting their own discomfort onto them. But maybe Im overthinking it. Alex: I think youre onto something, although maybe its more about the 2020s than generations. I mean, I can think of one big stan account who hates that Timothe Chalamet is dating Kylie Jenner, and another big fandom full of millennials! that still doesnt approve of a pop songstresss ex-boyfriend. The parasocial aspect is strong there! On the other side of that, theres an entire swath of people, Gen Z included, who watched Nosferatu and were fawning over Count Orlok being so obsessed over a girl as a sign that he was a romantic. Never mind the stalking, cucking her husband, and bringing plague and endless death upon her. Rebecca: First of all, put some respect on Club Chalamets name (a.k.a. Timothe Chalamets most prominent fan). Second, yes it seems like everyone wants to yearn for sex, but not actually have it. Its similar to the way people yearn for IRL social interaction but constantly flake on plans or refuse to leave their house. Where it all seems to lead is a lot fewer people fucking. A few years ago there was that big piece about the sex recession. Do you think thats actually happening, and if so, what are the causes?Alex: My general theory or excuse is that the pandemic really broke us socially. Every aspect of our lives that revolves around us interacting with other people has been fundamentally altered. Sex included. Like theres an entire swath of Gen Z who were stuck at home with their parents when they shouldve been in dorms, at parties, or studying abroad, making awful decisions! Whats the opposite of a recession? A boom time? Do you think well eventually get to one? Rebecca: Dazed magazine recently did a piece on how everyone is horny now, pointing to pop cultural artifacts like FKA twigss trancey new album Eusexua, movies like Babygirl and Challengers, the music of Doechii, Ethel Cain, and Billie Eilish, and even Hawk Tuah. It basically argues that after Me Too and Trump 1.0, culture got a little neutered by the desire to make everything feminist and woke (Im sloppily paraphrasing, but thats the gist). Nicole Kidman as babygirl in Babygirl. Courtesy of A24I think theres something there, largely stemming from the nebulous vibe shift of the early 2020s toward hedonism and ostentation Sean Monahan of K-HOLE recently coined the term boom boom to describe the current version of it. People are less interested in litigating whos allowed to say, do, and desire what and more interested in flaunting how much they have. But the piece also argues correctly, I think that a lot of it feels a little sauceless, a little lacking in filth and perversion. None of it feels dangerous. Maybe were already scared enough.Alex: Or maybe we just dont post about it, like the IUD guy shouldnt have. Maybe its time to reclaim sex from the internet strangers who dont get a say.Youve read 1 article in the last monthHere at Vox, we're unwavering in our commitment to covering the issues that matter most to you threats to democracy, immigration, reproductive rights, the environment, and the rising polarization across this country.Our mission is to provide clear, accessible journalism that empowers you to stay informed and engaged in shaping our world. By becoming a Vox Member, you directly strengthen our ability to deliver in-depth, independent reporting that drives meaningful change.We rely on readers like you join us.Swati SharmaVox Editor-in-ChiefSee More: Culture