Sure, grandpa.Energy VampireElon Musk fired up his X-formerly-Twitter fingers on this week suggest, with a madman's glee, that he's a time-traveling vampire. And a gamer, he added."Full disclosure, I'm actually a 3,000-year-old vampire," he first posted back in 2020. "It's such a trial assuming all these false identities over the centuries!"Musk revisited the claim surely a joke, but an embarrassingly self-aggrandizing one this week, declaring that his X profile had been verified since 3,000 BC because he's a "time-traveling vampire alien!""Even though I'm 5000 years old, I think I look much younger," Musk continued, seemingly increasing his age by a full 2,000 years since 2020.He kept indulging the fantasy until a nocturnal 3:00 AM, posting that being a time-traveling vampire alien vampalien? "would explain a lot of things" about him.Life ForceBy the next afternoon, Musk was instead obsessively responding to a now-deleted video showing a recent protest by the frequently topless radical feminist group Femen. In reaction to a crass meme saying "I found this difficult to masturbate to... but not impossible," Musk replied with his signature laughing-crying emoji.Musk, who has an abysmal track record with respecting women or often other people in general often takes refuge in these kinds of daydreams that frame him as untouchably superhuman.Musk loves when people called him the "real-life Tony Stark," for example. He's also posted AI-generated glamor shots of himself as a technocratic Roman general, and he demurely accepted his new best friend Donald Trump extolling himsuper genius."In that sense, being a time-traveling shapeshifter vampire would explain some things about Musk. For instance, it might elucidate why a guy who does things like name a government department after a dubious memecoin is a megalomaniac instead of ashamed.Share This Article