Around 863 million people flew U.S. airlines in 2023, and if you were one of them, you know that it feels like the experience keeps getting less and less enjoyable. From ever-shrinking personal space to ever-increasing fees, flying has become a crucible of suffering for anyone who cant afford (or negotiate) an upgrade to first class. But the worst part about air travel these days can be our fellow travelersour angry and sometimes rude fellow travelers who sometimes break every rule of flight etiquette there is.One easy way to trigger a Yellowjackets-style descent into savagery? The seat swap. Booking flights can be a dystopian nightmare, so its not uncommon for folks to wind up in distant seats and want to sit together. Weve all asked someone to switch seats so we could be next to a partner, a friend, a child, or someone who might need some extra help during the flightbut as with everything else in this life, theres a right way and a wrong way to go about it. If you need to negotiate a seat swap on your next flight, follow these rules to avoid being the bad guy.Rule 1: Dont squatThe most important rule of trying to swap seats on a plane: Never, never squat in the seat you want.Seat squatting means jumping into the seat youd like to occupy in the hope that you can just bluff your way into it. When the rightful owner of the seat shows up, seat squatters try to ignore them, bully them, or convince them to just let it happen as a fait accompli.This is not only rude, but it will also annoy the flight crew, who would greatly prefer everyone stay in their assigned seats until after boarding (see Rule 2) to reduce chaos. And finally, that same flight crew will probably force you to move anywayand then any chance you had of negotiating the swap will be dead.Rule 2: Wait until boarding is finishedIf youre anxious about getting your seating arrangement in order, you naturally want to get the process started as soon as you step onto the plane. Boarding can be absolute chaos on crowded flightsthe overhead compartments start to fill up, people block the aisle trying to corral their luggage, last-minute ticketing problems get resolvedand trying to move up and down the plane to arrange a seat swap just makes everything worse. Plus, the flight crew may be performing some seat-swapping magic of their own that youre now making even more complicated, much to their probable irritation.The best way to approach a seat swap is to wait for boarding to finish (or at least mostly finish). The aisle will be clear and youll have plenty of time to politely ask someone to change seats.Rule 3: Be politeNo one is under any obligation to swap seats with you, and it isnt their fault that your booking didnt go as planned. Demanding that they comply with your wishes or responding to reasonable questions (such as is your seat right next to the restroom? or do you really have an aisle seat?) with snark or rude comebacks isnt going to get you anything.Rule 4: Equivalent valueSeat swaps should be parallel in the sense that the person swapping with you shouldnt get shafted in the process. If they have a seat with extra legroom, a first- or business-class seat, or an aisle or window seat, they should get a seat of equivalent quality. Asking someone to go from a roomy aisle seat to a squished middle seat is simply not fair. You can still ask, of course, but be situationally aware of what youre askingseats on a plane are definitely not all the same. Take a moment to think about the location and class of your current seat so you know what youre asking a total stranger to sacrifice for you.If you really need to ask for an unbalanced swap, offer something to the other passenger. Thats right, the long tradition of bribery is your best friend in these situations. If they paid for an upgraded seat or simply have a better seat than you do, offering to buy them few cocktails or snacks or simply compensating them for the difference in seat price might be the difference between closing the deal or not.Rule 5: Be honestSpeaking of being situationally aware of your seats advantages and disadvantages: Dont lie about them. If you have a middle seat, dont tell the potential swapper in an aisle seat that you also have an aisle seat just to get them upthats what scientists call an asshole move. Most of the time the swapper will just return to demand their seat back, and your fellow passengers will know that youre not a good person. And if your little scheme causes a lot of confusion and ruckus, youll earn the enmity of the flight crewwho absolutely have the power to get you tossed off the plane.Rule 6: If you're refused, don't argueFinally, if your seat swap request is denied, accept it. No is a complete sentence, and you have no idea why the person isnt interested in helping you outthey may have perfectly good reasons for staying put. In any case, theyre under zero obligation to fix your booking problems. Its perfectly OK to politely ask for a seat swap. Its not OK to argue with the person if they say no.