Vex Member Oct 25, 2017 25,591 Were you ever bullied or made fun of for liking video games growing up (by Relatives/Friends/Enemies)? It was kind of in the same category as liking paper back comic books back in the day (i.e. "nerd culture"). Just curious. I know things are kind of different now (mostly), but I am wondering if you were made fun of by the "uninitiated" as they say. Back during a time where video games were kind of "niche" to enjoy in the capacity we do now on a much broader scale. Personally my parents thought it was odd that I enjoyed video games and would often ridicule me for enjoying a quiet game during the summer months. They'd say "why don't you go outside" and take my console away sometimes. They'd also say very hurtful things but I won't get into that. I figured as long as I wasn't doped up and doing drugs like all the other "cool kids", or getting an early pregnancy, I was good wtf MOM 🤣  Last edited: 48 minutes ago Baphomet Member Dec 8, 2018 21,845 Nope.   Mephissto Member Mar 8, 2024 1,145 No, video games were always hot shit in my school etc. I remember in elementary school almost everyone was playing Pokemon during breaks.  Dan Thunder Member Nov 2, 2017 16,965 Occasionally made fun of but I grew up in the 80's and there was a much bigger stigma in the 80's and early 90's around playing computer/videogames.   Jus Do It ▲ Legend ▲ Member Oct 25, 2017 43,755 South Central I'm a millennial, so I act like I was an outsider because of video games even though everybody else my age was also into video games. Gen Xers were the last true nerds.  Jubilant Duck Member Oct 21, 2022 9,214 The only people who made negative comments about how many videogames I played were my parents.   Dal Uncle Works at Nintendo Member Aug 18, 2024 2,197 No, video games were huge in my school (and bullying was uncommon fortunately since everyone knew everyone and hitting another kid or making fun of them was a good enough way to get you in trouble with the rest of the school)   Okada Member Nov 8, 2017 749 I'm a millennial and everyone around me was playing video games. It wasn't weird even then. Not liking football would have been seen as much weirder and more likely to lead to bullying.  THANKS Prophet of Regret Member Oct 22, 2018 1,587 Yes because I played JRPGs.   ConflictResolver Member Jan 1, 2024 4,856 Midgar I don't think this was ever a thing in the UK. But American pop culture made it look like a thing there (nerds vs jocks) but maybe that's just a made up thing from TV and movies and was never true? Vex said: Personally my parents thought it was odd that I enjoyed video games and would often ridicule me for enjoying a quiet game during the summer months. They'd say "why don't you go outside" and take my console away sometimes. They'd also say very hurtful things but I won't get into that. Click to expand... Click to shrink... Ah yes I can relate. I'm married in my 30s, have my own house, my own kid and my parents still sometimes scrutinise my lifelong videogame hobby. It's weird. My Dad is more about scrutinising the finances of it, but my Mum sometimes says throwaway comments like "wow you are a big man now and still play game?". It's actually really hurtful considering how big a part of my identity videogames and videogame culture is (and she knows it too). As if I am going to give up the thing you have seen me passionately into since I was a toddler lol.  Last edited: 37 minutes ago Ravelle Member Oct 31, 2017 20,328 No, never. Everyone played video games, that's the thing you spent your lunch break talking about with classmates.   Dead Man Typing Member Oct 27, 2017 7,601 Kinda but not really. I was definitely known as the video game guy all through school. Most people played games so it wasn't like they bullied me for it. There were definitely jokes about how much I loved my Dreamcast.  Lamptramp Member Oct 27, 2017 2,871 Germany I grew up in the UK in the late 80s early 90's Games weren't really a thing that got you marked for bullying that I recall. That's not why I was bullied all the time I was at school.  Greywaren Member Jul 16, 2019 13,079 Spain Oh yes. Quite often, actually. It stopped when video games became more mainstream, though.   onibirdo Member Dec 9, 2020 3,566 No, if anything it was a lot easier to out yourself as a gamer as a kid than it is as an adult.   julia crawford Took the red AND the blue pills Member Oct 27, 2017 40,539 No memory of it, but it might have happened. I really don't discuss games with pretty much anyone IRL. I have however used the words "magic circle" at one point.   ConflictResolver Member Jan 1, 2024 4,856 Midgar Lamptramp said: I grew up in the UK in the late 80s early 90's Games weren't really a thing that got you marked for bullying that I recall. That's not why I was bullied all the time I was at school. Click to expand... Click to shrink... UK bullying from my recollection was mainly mainly about outward appearance. If you looked the part you can be into whatever you want.   AerialAir Member Oct 25, 2017 2,326 Portugal Nah, but I was born in the 90s. By the 2000s, gaming was already a dominant form of mainstream media.   Dunfish Member Oct 29, 2017 1,577 Was it ever actually a thing? I know it was portrayed in every teen movie in the 80s and 90s but never experienced it or saw it growing up. There was a lot of tribalism around brands though, so weird how people carried that into adulthood.   Fudgepuppy Member Oct 27, 2017 5,841 Yes, specifically because I had a Gamecube.   DaveB Member Oct 25, 2017 5,134 New Hampshire, USA Oh god, yeah. Me and my friends at the time were called nerds and bullied incessantly over it. Kids around school called it "No-friendo". It wasn't until we were in high school - around the first PlayStation - that they started to become mainstream.   Derbel McDillet ▲ Legend ▲ Member Nov 23, 2022 24,298 I can't really relate to the whole "they made fun of us for playing video game or watching anime" thing. I can think of single instance where I was made fun of for playing Pokémon in elementary school, but just about everyone else was playing Pokémon. But outside of that, to my knowledge, no one cared. Elementary school everyone had Gameboys. Middle school everyone had GBAs and then DSs. High school, we'd play our DSs together for lunch and a lot of kids had 360s at home. There was also video games club where we played PC games during lunch or after school. In college, only a handful of people I knew played games, but people were up for any game nights I hosted. I just wish I had a bigger TV. At least one of my friends today has this weirdly negative perception of video games to the point where she was weirdly stubborn about not watching a trailer I wanted to show her that literally two minutes. It was like giving a 6 year old broccoli. Dunfish said: Was it ever actually a thing? I know it was portrayed in every teen movie in the 80s and 90s but never experienced it or saw it growing up. There was a lot of tribalism around brands though, so weird how people carried that into adulthood. Click to expand... Click to shrink... School felt like it was a melting pot of all types. Some of the band kids were jocks. People were getting into Naruto. 90% of the manga readers I knew were girls. Like no one really gave a shit what other people liked, and if they did, that was a bonding experience. We had the Halo PC demo on some of the better computers and played at every opportunity, sometimes during computer lab. I remember in chemistry if the teacher finished the lesson early he'd just give us the last 20 minutes to do whatever and like 8 of us would just play Mario Kart via DS download. That's not to say I never had a rough time in school, it just had nothing to do with my hobbies. Or maybe I was just super oblivious.  Mass Effect One Winged Slayer Member Oct 31, 2017 19,186 No. Video games were widely played when I was in school.   Shopolic Avenger Oct 27, 2017 8,089 Bullied? No. Made fun of? Yes. Not a serious thing though and it was mostly friendly.  Hrodulf Member Oct 25, 2017 5,761 Might be one of the few things people didn't try to bully me about in school, honestly.   Nameless Member Oct 25, 2017 17,247 Nope. It wasn't a secret I loved games, but I also had enough social awareness not to pull an EGM out of my bag or start extolling the virtues of Chrono Cross while sitting at the "cool kids" table.   Giga Man One Winged Slayer Member Oct 27, 2017 23,162 No. Everyone was into some form of video game adjacent pop culture, whether was Pokemon/Pokemon cards in elementary school or sports games in middle/high school. I was bullied for other reasons. If we're talking parents, I was blessed with a loving, albeit passive, pair who, while not into games themselves, would play with me if I asked. They let me keep to myself more often than not, which was too my detriment in development if I'm being honest. They didn't really challenge me, and if they tried, I'd reject it and go to my room where it was safe.  Eidan AVALANCHE Avenger Oct 30, 2017 9,840 No.   Kemono ▲ Legend ▲ Member Oct 27, 2017 8,621 No. Most kids around me played or liked games in some kind of way.  Derbel McDillet ▲ Legend ▲ Member Nov 23, 2022 24,298 I guess there's also the factor of what you put out there. Like, I openly carried my DS with me and could be seen playing in the library and some classes, but the average person wouldn't know or care what systems I had at home. Nor would they know or care what I watched at home unless we specifically talked about it at school. I wasn't hiding it, it just had no reason to come up. You had your cliques, but everyone knew each other from like middle school, so it was easy to just group hop. My friends got super into Magic the Gathering, I didn't care for it as much, I bought a $10 starter deck and borrowed a few cards to give it a try a few times and then I just pulled back from that group just bit (because I wanted to do things I found fun for lunch) to chill with another (theater kids, burnouts, student government, national honor society), they didn't play video games at all, so it was mostly something I just did at home or at the end of Chemistry. Like, no one was made fun of for liking Naruto, but there was the kid that could be seen doing the Naruto run to lunch everyday. And it was more laughing from a distance (the fact that they got the reference was telling).  Lamptramp Member Oct 27, 2017 2,871 Germany ConflictResolver said: UK bullying from my recollection was mainly mainly about outward appearance. If you looked the part you can be into whatever you want. Click to expand... Click to shrink... Yeah, pretty much or if you were LGTBQIA+ not that we knew what that was or would dare to say so. Hell even if someone just said you were "gay" on a whim. Everyone else had school had a c64 or spectrum when I grew up and aside from "warring" over which was better there wasn't any bullying.  Chainshada Member Oct 25, 2017 3,010 My parents were fine with it, after like 8-10 years old my brother and I were pretty much left to play on our own, I have a few memories of them playing games with us when we were little. I don't want to say there was no bullying in school, as I have no clue what other kids went through around me as a straight white kid, but I always bounced between 2 friend groups, 1 more for nerdy stuff (D&D, Warhammer, etc) and the other for sports..but both groups played games, both watched anime, occasionally the groups merged without issue, never heard either side shit talk the other behind their backs.  TheEchosOfTheCyborg Member Feb 24, 2018 7,684 Not bullied for playing games but playing the "wrong" and "kiddie" games like loving Pokémon, Halo, Minecraft and Tekken rather than "mature" stuff like COD, FIFA, the Saw franchise, Max and Paddy, Little Britain etc  

OpinionMay 19, 20256 min readWhat to Do If Your Child Is the BullyIt can be difficult to accept that your child may be bullying others, but the way parents respond can help minimize any damageBy Elizabeth Englander Malte Mueller/Getty ImagesIs it ever okay—or at least, understandable—for one child to bully another?I spend a lot of time speaking to parent groups and students about bullying, and it’s common for parents to approach me after a talk with questions about their personal situation. A mother once asked for my thoughts about a situation in which her eight-year-old son had been accused of bullying another boy.In my experience, parents often have a hard time believing that their child could ever engage in bullying; this mother clearly accepted that the behavior had happened, yet she just as clearly felt that there were extenuating circumstances. She pointed out that the target had the annoying habit of picking his nose, and this had bothered her son, who had lashed out.On supporting science journalismIf you're enjoying this article, consider supporting our award-winning journalism by subscribing. By purchasing a subscription you are helping to ensure the future of impactful stories about the discoveries and ideas shaping our world today.She hedged; surely, she thought, there could be circumstances under which it’s acceptable for one child to bully another.If your child is being accused of bullying another, it can be surprising and upsetting. Beyond those understandable emotions, as a parent, you have many options to help your child understand their behavior and why it was seen as bullying.Let’s first define what it is we are talking about: bullying means that someone repeatedly and deliberately hurts a less powerful person. Bullying is a very unhealthy and potentially damaging behavior, for both the target and the bully. Research tells us that children who bully carry mental health consequences like depression and anxiety into adulthood. This is especially true for kids who are both bullies and victims.I think most people would agree that bullying sometimes calls for punishment, and often calls for interventions; but is bullying ever a behavior that calls for understanding? If your child is being aggressive once (which doesn’t meet the definition of bullying), and in self-defense, that may indeed be excusable. On the other hand, if your child is bullying, that repeated torment is not excusable. I reminded the mother whose son bullied the nose-picking child that bullying is harmful to both individuals, so even when it happens because of a provocation, it shouldn’t be shrugged off.What’s interesting is that generally, children don’t excuse bullying. In a study in which scientists interviewed elementary school children (both those involved and uninvolved in bullying) in Sweden to understand how kids view bullying, the students tended to think that bullies were either psychologically troubled, or alternatively, attention seekers—bullying to gain social status (in other words, that they wanted other children to see their power and admire it).Kids who bully others, however, tend to have justifications for their behavior. In my study of more than 2,200 teens, about 62 percent of those who admitted bullying others offered one or more of the following explanations: “People didn’t try to understand my point of view,” or “I needed to show I wasn’t intimidated or afraid,” or “My behavior was taken way too seriously; I never meant it.”It’s important to understand that kids can engage in bullying for a variety of reasons. Parents may think of bullying as a behavior reserved for only truly disturbed kids. The research, however, shows that some youth who bully are otherwise doing well socially, while others, who tend to be both bullies and targets, struggle more with making friends and being social. It can be difficult to believe that a child who does well in school and has friends could actually be a bully.What should parents do when their children are accused of bullying? How should they handle their child’s protests that they were justifiably provoked? Should they believe their child and accept the reasons for the bullying? Should the response be punishment, intervention or understanding—or all three?The word bullying tends to be overused, and is sometimes applied to any situation (repeated, deliberate or not) when someone hurts someone else. How you approach the situation may be completely different if the aggression in question only happened once, or between two children with relatively equal social and physical power, which likely would not be bullying.If the power dynamic is unequal, and it appears to be a bullying situation, talk to everyone to determine the facts. Make it clear to everyone involved that you’re approaching this with an open mind. The school’s perspective is almost certain to be different from your child’s. It’s not hard to imagine a situation where a school counselor explains that your child has bullied another student, but your son or daughter claims they were just mad and not thinking. Bullying is a behavior that is planned out. It is not an impulsive, one-time response to someone else’s provocation. A target may have engaged in nose-picking, and that may have been genuinely irritating; but repeated aggression against them isn’t impulsive or thoughtless.While many parents are understandably reluctant to simply disbelieve their child, pointing out that there are other possible explanations doesn’t mean you’re calling your own child a liar. You can say things like: “You mentioned that you didn’t mean to hurt their feelings, but you must have taken a long time to draw all that graffiti on their car. Writing all those hurtful words doesn’t sound like an accident.”Many children don’t yet grasp that different people can have different interpretations of the same behavior. It may not have occurred to your child that what seemed like self-defense to them appeared to be something else entirely to others.Once you’ve understood the situation and had a chance to think through it, you’re ready to teach your child a few life lessons. Acknowledge that some of the circumstances may have provoked your child, but then draw a clear line between feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Point out that everyone is entitled to their thoughts and feelings, and sure, people can make us feel uncomfortable, angry or upset. But how you act is different from a feeling. No one has the right to hurt others, no matter what their feelings are.You can also discuss alternative actions that can help in difficult situations. Is there an adult (perhaps a counselor or favorite teacher) who could help your child cope at school with their feelings (instead of acting out their aggression)? Maybe a friend can help them feel calmer and less aggressive. Or you can help your child find an activity to help them calm down when they are feeling aggressive.Be sure to point out how the choices you make to act can result in real-world consequences. Consequences always need to be age-appropriate, and if possible, they can help rectify the hurt your child may have caused. When one of my children was a kindergartener, he made fun of another child because of their favorite stuffed toy. Our solution was to have him buy that child another of the same stuffed toy, with his own allowance, and give it to the target as a way of saying sorry. My child is now grown, but he still remembers that episode.Finally, consider your child’s environment. Think about their technology use. Children differ markedly in how much aggression in video games or, say, on social media influences their behavior. One study of more than 40,000 teens in Russia found that aggression on social media was very common, but that different teens responded to it quite differently. Some tended to copy the aggression, while others saw it as part of the app’s amusement. Consider if your child tends to behave aggressively after interacting aggressively with others online, and discuss with them alternative activities while limiting their time spent online.Bullying isn’t healthy, so consider counseling. Aggressive behaviors can be impulsive, but they can also reflect psychological struggles. A large meta-analysis of many studies found that emotional difficulties greatly increased the chances of being involved in bullying (either as a bully or a victim, or both). Is your child having trouble making or keeping friends? Perhaps they’re also a victim of bullying (it is not unusual for a child to be both a perpetrator and a victim of bullying). Maybe your child is coping with a bout of loneliness, depression or persistent anxiety. Maybe their best friend has abandoned them. The possible list of stressors could be long, but pursuing professional help can make a big difference in the outcome of a bullying situation.Parents of kids who struggle with aggressive behavior can look forward to the summer as a time when less rigid, and more forgiving, behavior standards might ease their stress. But the summer is also an opportunity to discuss and explore these situations more deeply with your child or teenager. Any habit—including using aggression—benefits from reminders and reinforcing positive behaviors. So plan to continue that as you move into the new school year and monitor your child closely to make sure their psychological and emotional needs are being met.This is an opinion and analysis article, and the views expressed by the author or authors are not necessarily those of Scientific American.