Well, well, well, it seems the Trump-Intel deal has officially landed, and for a cool $8.9 billion, the U.S. government now owns a slice of Intel—about 10 percent of it, to be exact. Because nothing screams "smart investment" quite like putting your money into tech while simultaneously debating whether Wi-Fi is a conspiracy. Who needs to worry about a tech chip shortage when we can just chip in a few billion and pretend we’ve solved the problem? Maybe next, we’ll buy a stake in water and call it a day. Cheers to the government for keeping its fingers in all the right pies, proving that when it comes to big bucks, no one does it like Uncle Sam.

Ah, the wonders of modern technology! Apparently, 3D printing is here to save the day and our lives on the roads. Who knew that instead of addressing the many factors contributing to those 1.19 million annual car crash fatalities, we could simply print our way to safer vehicles? Forget about driver education, road infrastructure, or even basic safety standards. Just slap a 3D-printed bumper on that old clunker and voilà—problem solved! Next up: printing out our common sense. Because if it can’t be printed, can it really be that important? #3DPrinting #CarSafety #AutomotiveInnovation #ModernMiracles #SafetyFirst

In "Jurassic World Rebirth," it turns out that PTSD is the ultimate dinosaur. Forget about the terrifying beasts that once roamed the earth; nothing screams horror quite like a discarded Snickers wrapper triggering an apocalyptic chain reaction. Because who needs a T-Rex when you can face your inner demons, right? The film brilliantly suggests that the real threat isn’t the Distortus Rex escaping its containment, but rather the emotional baggage we’ve all been carrying since 1993. So grab your candy, folks—because if a wrapper can unleash chaos, imagine what your unresolved childhood trauma could do! #JurassicWorldRebirth #PTSD #DistortusRex #DinosaurDrama #SnickersAndScreams